August 12th, 2010%
When I start to believe that the last bits of my Gin are sticking to the ice cubes, I officially have the killer instinct of a security guard when it comes to wit and humor.
- Honest and serious can be funny: This is a good drink, but you already know that. (optional smolder for emphasis)
- Funny is sometimes funny: Please make this drink a little stronger. Unfortunately, English is my first language. (optional glance at date, then eye contact with server)
- Trying to be funny is never funny unless everyone is already laughing: Those drinks were so good, I’d date myself. (you are the only one laughing, but keep laughing and say the next thing that comes to you)
Being funny is like dancing. Telling a story is like walking. I’m not sure how to explain it, but you might know what I mean.
July 28th, 2010%
Our goal is to bring the reader into the story, not to confuse them. Readers need stability. Writers have concrete details. Then, things get a little crazy when we start to write.
For example, how would a writer move the reader through this scene from Roma, a film by Frederico Fellini, while retaining pace and energy?
Dialogue, observations, thoughts, and actions can be the source of order or unpredictability as we seek to recreate the scene. Tension can be created, but we need to manage it using all the tricks of craft.
As writers, our budget for special effects is unbounded, but our ability to handle complexity limits our access to the reader’s imagination. Film directors have their boundaries. We have ours.
July 25th, 2010%
An assumption. A lack of interest. An unwelcome introduction. A hopeful suspicion. Polite conversation presses you against the elbows and knees of reality.
I find myself apologizing. Your dull life. Your impossible blindness to the most obvious and mundane truths of your existence. I am so sorry. What can I do?
And so I make your life more interesting by reconstructing it with questions. I agree directly and disagree indirectly. I smile when you do. Eventually, you remember something significant or launch a defense.
Polite conversation is the perfect trap for sarcasm–sometimes its only saving grace.
July 23rd, 2010%
Certain words make us feel good. We want to hear them.
Sometimes we might need to hear them in a certain order, like a spell, for them to work any magic. Sometimes it’s better when things are like other things we like.
When my niece came home from camp with two bandaged knees, she said her knee looked like salmon. Her friend wondered how many layers of skin were missing. I asked if we could count the layers of skin to guess her age, like tree rings.
The neosporin was like frosting. The cut was shaped like a heart. Everything was like something else.
When it hurt, it just hurt like.
July 22nd, 2010%
I grew up in a small town in the midwest where conversation is often inspired by the following three topics:
- Weather
Person 1: Man it’s hot today.
Person 2: Sure is. (insert story) Tomorrow is supposed to be the same.
- Roads
Person 1: Did you see they paved 65?
Person 2: Yeah, it’s about time. How long they been working on it? Terrible pot holes. (insert story) Glad it’s done.
- Other People
Person 1: I thought I saw x the other day in town.
Person 2: Yeah, x’s son/daughter is headed to college at x. (insert story) Anyways, I heard they got a scholarship. I sure hope my kid does.
While the topics may seem boring or the conversations may start out dull, the conversation is expected to include something funny and/or something interesting. Reality may not always deliver these things so we sometimes have to get a little creative with “wouldn’t it be funny if” or “what if” situations. Using our imagination during these conversations trains us to tell long jokes.
The key to telling a long joke is in the details. Build tension. Make it real and relatable.
The best long jokes I know set-up a situation that sounds plausible and then tell about a situation where something unexpected happens. Everything in between can be changed to suit your audience. Improvise to your audience to keep them hooked—you might even get in a shot or two directed at them during the course of the joke which is an added plus.
Another thing to learn from midwest conversation: Do not correct yourself if you got a detail wrong—just add another layer. If I said I saw someone in town and someone said the person was out of town or somewhere else, I’d just say it must’ve been another day because x happened and get on with the point. Neither of us care about the details, we’re waiting for the interesting part or the funny thing.
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